Today I opened my mail box and I am so excited!  I finally received my  copy of the anthology “The Venomed Kissed”.

The American poetry publisher Incarnate Muse Press published my poem “sleep” in the anthology.  The Venomed Kiss is a poetry anthology about emotional and psychological abuse.

The editors are Anita Barnard and Michelle Rhea.

If you are interested in purchasing a copy of the anthology it costs $12 dollars plus shipping and handling.

Here is the address:

Incarnate Muse Press

P.O. Box 5756

Santa Barbara California 93150

Here is the website info:

www.incarnatemuse.com

The e-mail address is:

incarnatemuse@yahoo.com

I am sure everyone has heard about the film Precious based on the novel Push by Sapphire. The film is set in the year 1987 and it is about an obese, illiterate, black girl named Precious. Precious was raped by her father and emotionally abused by her mother. The film had a solid opening over the weekend grossing $1.8 million in only 18 theatres. The movie will be slowly released to build word of mouth for the Oscar season. Film critic Armond White is receiving a lot of internet buzz because his review of the film is very controversial.  White believes  the movie is racist, sexist, manipulative, and is pure exploitation of the black poor. For example, Precious steals some fried chicken and eats it.

White also slams Tyler Perry, Oprah, and the director Lee Daniels. White calls the lead actress in the film a hippopotamus. The issue of body image is a very integral part of the movie.  What do you guys think?

Here is the link to Armond White’s incendiary Review:

http://www.nypress.com/article-20554-pride-precious.html

Last night,I got the courage to finally attend a meetup.com movie event. I have procrastinated for a long time to see a movie with the movie group. I think this relates to my social anxiety. I thought no one would talk to me.  I kept on RSVP saying “maybe” three times. However, I am in cognitive behavioral therapy for a reason and the reason is to conduct exposures.

I am so glad I went to see the movie with the meetup.com movie group.

I had a good time. I met the group at 6:15pm at the Canada Square Theatre at Yonge and Eglinton. Next, we saw the Chris Rock documentary “Good Hair”. I thought the movie was okay I give it a six out of ten. The movie focused on the fact black women use a hair relaxer to straighten their hair to fit into a Eurocentric culture.

The highlight of my night was talking to Rahi!  After the movie one group member Rahi asked me “are you joining us for dinner at Boston Pizza?” I said “sure”. Rahi is really cute! Rahi is from India and he has a  Hindu & Muslim background.

Rahi has a very sexy voice! Rahi says he moved to Canada in the year 2000 from India. Rahi is gorgeous he has dark brown skin, thick black hair, and he  dresses nice. I don’t know Rahi’s sexual orientation? All I can say is I thought he was nice and cute.

I thought some of Chris Rock’s jokes were mean spirited against black women. I also feel the documentary did not dig deep enough into the surface to examine “why” do black women wear weaves? The movie also ignored the fact white female celebrities such as Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton wear extensions. It’s not just a “black woman” issue. I also feel the movie would have been better if a black woman made it instead of a black man. One of the outrageous generalizations was that black men “can’t” touch a black woman’s hair that’s bullshit.

Update: Rahi sent me a greeting on my meetup.com page he said “it was nice meeting you Orville enjoy your weekend!”

I found a website for gays and lesbians of Sikh heritage.  I learned Sikhism is a young religion it has only existed for the past five hundred years. The website is based in the UK but I think LGBT Sikh people may find the information helpful. The word  that stood out the most is a term called “kaam” this means lust in Sikhism. Also, I found out that  the Sikh religion does not identify homosexuality as a sin.

Link:

http://www.sarbat.net/articles.htm

In the  barber shops, beauty salons, coffee shops, private residences, dorm rooms, the question surfaces is Tyler Perry a closeted homosexual?

The truth is we will probably never know Tyler’s true sexual orientation.

My argument is Perry’s sexual orientation “does” matter because it would prove

black gays and lesbians have power in Hollywood.

Maybe Tyler will end up like the soul singer Luther Vandross?

Vandross never revealed he was gay for his entire life he died “in the closet”.

It wasn’t until after Vandross died in 2005 that the media “revealed” the truth that he was indeed a homosexual.

Of course, everyone already “knew” Luther was gay we are not dense.

We kept Luther’s “secret” because we had a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy with

Luther. The deal was Luther would “sing” his songs about heterosexual love yet deny who he really was for our satisfaction.

I just feel it was so tragic Luther “died” and he could not be open about his

homosexuality. If Luther’s audience really loved him why wasn’t he allowed to declare he was a black gay man when he was alive?

I feel Tyler Perry’s fans already “know” he’s gay but I guess the same policy of “don’t ask don’t tell” applies.

I won’t lie yes I have seen a couple of Perry’s movies.

I have to admit I liked “Diary Of A Mad Black Woman”, “Madea Goes To Jail”,

and “Why Did I Get Married?” I think “Why Did I Get Married?” is my favorite

Perry movie because Madea is NOT in the film at all.

However, I have began to question if Perry’s movies are sending out mixed

messages?

For instance, why is Madea so belligerent? Is Tyler trying to say an elderly

black grandmother is an aggressive and hostile woman? Is Tyler trying to say black women from the South are loudmouths?

Perry’s fan base has expanded from a predominately black audience to a multi racial audience.

However, Perry’s main character “Madea” has been criticized by some black feminists for promoting racist and sexist stereotypes about black womanhood.

Some fans say Perry’s movies are light entertainment and should not be taken seriously.

Another quandary is, some of Perry’s core audience are homophobic Christians.

I am not suggesting “all Christians” are anti homosexual. I am suggesting that some of Perry’s fans would not “accept” Perry if he did come out and

disclose his true sexual orientation.

Perry can’t  “come out” and declare he is a homosexual he will lose his core audience.

Perry’s movies have grossed about $400 million dollars since the year 2005. Tyler Perry is a Hollywood “outsider” but he has struck gold with his Christian audience.

However, isn’t it hypocritical of Perry to promote movies to an audience that would not “accept him” if he told them the truth?

According to my sources in Atlanta, Perry got the idea for Madea from Miss Sophia a black drag queen from the 1990s Atlanta gay scene.

Also, why is it “funny” to see a six foot five black man in a dress wearing makeup and a wig?

Madea is supposed to be an outrageous grandmother that packs a pistol but is she also a threat?

Some people believe Perry uses the character Madea to have some “agency” to express his alleged homosexuality. For instance,  Perry seems very comfortable  prancing across the screen in a frilly dress.  I think  Perry’s Madea character is more drag performance and black queer art.

Well, last week I received two e-mails  from the ex, the closeted, paranoid, Indian, gay man.  Well, I just  found out he still reads my blog.

First off, the two blog entires I wrote about him were from a few months ago.

Second, I told him via e-mail on Friday that it would be in his “best interest” to  STOP reading my blog.

I sincerely hope his “friends” STOP reading my blog as well.

I never ever told him to read my blog!

However, he is still complaining about certain blog entries I have written.

He has to realize he can’t keep on “complaining” to me about my blog.

He has to move on with his life and STOP reading my blog.

I do feel this is annoying this is my blog and my space.

He claims some of my  blog entries “ridicule” him and make him look like he is a “bad” person.

Well maybe if he was not such an “insensitive jerk” and a “closet case” he would not feel that way.

I think he is just projecting his own insecurities.

He claims he is fearful his family might find out he is a homosexual.

He says he is “afraid” his employer may fire him if he or she finds out he is gay.

However, I told him in the province of Ontario it is illegal for an employer to “fire” an employee just because he or she is gay.

It is hard to believe he is  ignorant because he is very intelligent. I think he brought up the employer issue as an excuse.

However,he has already disclosed to his sisters that he is a  “queer”.

I just feel it is very “offensive” that he has the audacity to try to blame me for his “anxiety” about his homosexuality.

Just because he has never “declared” to his parents he is “gay” doesn’t mean they don’t already “know” he is gay.

I doubt his family is that dense. The man is twenty six years old  and he has never ever had a girlfriend.

There is absolutely nothing about this man that gives off the vibe that he is even remotely “heterosexual”.

I am serious, if you spent five minutes talking to this man you would know immediately he is a homosexual. He is also very effeminate.

Last night,  I decided to delete the two blog entries  he “believes” are offensive.  I will never ever mention his name on my blog again.

I feel like crap I have the flu. Last night, my fever was terrible. Thank goodness I had some Tylenol and apple juice. I just don’t feel like eating right now. I can’t stand looking at food.  I am starting to feel a little bit better. I am glad I have tomorrow off!  I am just going to sit in my bed drinking juice and watch my Golden Girls DVDs.

Update: I went to the doctor this morning she says I have a low-grade fever. According to the doctor she says my chest is congested. The doctor gave me a prescription for antibiotics.

This is the message I received from Pedro from his blackberry last night:

Hi Orville,

How’s it going stranger?  Haven’t heard from you since we had coffee, on Church St.  Hope all is well with you.

Big Hug!

Keep in touch.

I don’t know what to do? Why does Pedro want me to keep in touch? Why? Pedro is a nice man, I’ve known him for seven years but I just don’t want to get close too him again.  Pedro has never done anything to “hurt me”. He has always been very positive, kind, affectionate, but at the same time he has also been aloof.

Maybe I am to blame? What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just tell him that I want to be alone? I am single, I have so many personal issues going on in my life right now. I have to fix myself first before I can even be a “friend” to somebody else.

There is a reason I am in cognitive behavorial therapy and the reason is due to my anxiety.

Pedro is like a warm blanket, he is someone I am very comfortable around but I am attracted to him. Pedro is so handsome. I can’t believe he is fifty six because he doesn’t look like it! Pedro is strong, masculine, powerful, sexy. Pedro’s lips are just beautiful.  I have to keep my distance from him.

Pedro has a huge cock his dick is probably about eight and a half to nine inches.

However, I want to meet new men and women and  have new experiences. I think I am tired of gay men. I am tired of the lying, bullshit, mind games. I am also tired of the “let’s be friends after we fucked, kissed, had a relationship for a couple months” crap.

I don’t want to go back into my past. The reason I am in therapy is I am learning to develop strategies to “meet” people “outside” of the sexual arena of the bars, bathhouses, and clubs. I know I am not ready for a relationship and that’s why I am not looking for one.

My main focus right now is on myself.  I have contacted a few gay organizations in Toronto and I am going to see if I can join some gay male support groups. I am also received a phone call from from a woman on Thursday about psychotherapy. Unfortnately, the gay male therapist therapy sessions are at the exact same time I have lectures.

I don’t want to fall for for Pedro again. I know he sees me as his “friend” but he’s my ex.  He is a good person though. It’s just that I don’t want old feelings to surface. The most important question I ask myself is this: “what am I going to get out of being his friend?”

Pedro and I had a relationship not a long one but still there was something there. I have to admit, I am culpable I should not of seen him on Church Street for my birthday. Anyway, I’ve got school to focus on. I have to think about my future. I can’t worry about Pedro. I also got other issues going on right in my life.

Morrissey collapsed tonight during the very first song at a concert  in Swindon England. Yes I know Morrissey is fifty years old but I am still surprised. I think he needs to be a bit more careful with his touring schedule. I think this is surprising because Morrissey is so healthy. He is anti drugs, he is also a strict vegetarian and he is so physically fit.  According to the media reports, Morrissey is ill  due to respiratory issues and he is in stable condition. I wish Morrissey a speedy recovery. I love you Moz!!!

Update: The UK press have reported Morrissey is in stable condition. Morrissey has been released from the hospital. Please get well Moz!!!

I enjoy reading the  comments on my blog .

However, I will NOT post comments on the blog that are racist, sexist, or homophobic.

If you don’t have to agree with my opinions that’s fine.

Please refrain from using scatological language that’s unacceptable.

If you want to make a comment on anything I post that’s great.

The vast majority of the comments from readers whether positive or negative are very mature and well written.